“Fuck you, you fuckin’ GPS!”

This past weekend I celebrated the cuzzo’s (Teji) birthday. The night started off in LES, then at Columbus Circle then back to LES. Initially it seemed like it was going to one of the rare misses I have with my friends. Thankfully lots of liquor and early ‘90s hip-hop saved the night. Not that I got drunk or even buzzed but I find it more entertaining when others down a shot or 30. Case in point—Yoli! The homegirl can hold her liquor! One of the delights of seeing an inebriated Yoli is the amount of expletives this girl can say in a sentence. Remember how Jay-Z used to rap when he rolled with Original Flavor…well double that.

We’re on the ride back to Queens dropping off the peeps. First up Carl, who lives in some part of the Q, which Yoli refers to as “Where the fuck do you live, man?” She then starts to cuss out the GPS. “Fuck you, you fuckin GPS. They should fuck you in the ass you fuckin GPS!” OMG. It was gold I tell ya. She excuses herself for “sounding like an immigrant” when she stumbles on some words and starts singing a racy version of ABBA’s “Dancing Queen.” So this post is dedicated to our homegirl Yoli. You’re a riot!

Uno,

Jesus