She only has a top three and they are David Beckham, Paul Walker (dude from Fast & Furious), and Daddy Yankee. You guys see a trend here. Two out of three of her picks are tall, white and blonde yet she married a short, stout Latino. Three out of five of my picks are Latinas and my wife's assets could rival Iris’ any day. Good thing I make her laugh and that she thinks Beckham’s voice is atrocious. BTW: If you have Iris’ number tell her to holla! I just wanna say 'hola.' Who’s in your top five?
Uno,
Jesus
6 comments:
See, the problem with me and my "top whatevers" is that --cocky bastard that I am-- I have zero doubts about the possibility of closing some (fuck it, ALL) of these deals.
Point being, making this list public could get a nigga in trouble.
But fuck it, trouble's my middle name*, so let's get to it:
Scarlett Johansson - i'm with you on this one, Jay... something about this Scandinavian chick that gets me nostrils a' flarin' (and hey, Ryan's a funny cat, but Lito's sex game is no mu'fuckin' joke)
Gabrielle Union - nothing like hot chocolate on those toasty nights...and mornings...and afternoons.
Eva Longoria - all that hyphenated extra shit doesn't matter to me cuz ain't no French dude gonna keep me from what's rightfully mines, gattdammit.
Jessica Biel - if you haven't seen Chuck & Larry, rent that shit right now and tell me you won't throw her on your arm and walk right down the Deuce, happy as a white boy at a Lil Wayne concert
Roslyn Sanchez - aaaargh! no matter how hard i try to quit, them Puerto Rock women are an addiction. but to bag me one straight from the island (with a long-layover in Hollywood)?! bananas. (better yet: tostones.)
Eva Mendes - bueno... i got no wisecracks for this one. she's talented, sensitive, intelligent, beautiful, not afraid to get down and dirty -- and well aware of her flaws. AND she's Cuban?! just my speed, homie. don't be shocked if in a couple of years you see her and I in some People magazine spread, showing off our house in Malibu, kids, dog and the whole shebang.
sigh... (tellin' you, that one's a legit crush! haa!)
anyway.
(ahem).
funny post, homie. enough so that i just killed a good 15-20 minutes posting a comment when i should be writing my way to Hollywood and the future Mrs. Mendes-Rodriguez.
looking forward to the next one.
-- c
*actually, it's not. it's... well, never mind. shit's hilarious, and if i made it public, i'd blow my chances of turning Ms. Mendes into the aforementioned Mrs.
good looks on posting,man...but damn I need to sub J. Alba with Eva Mendes...I always get in trouble for looking at way too much...so Eva over Alba
vThis is too easy bruh.
1. Alicia Keys
2. Eva Mendes
3. Rosario Dawson
4. Salma Hayek
5. Nina Sky - Yes they count as one becuz it has to be both at the the same time.
Hmmm.... These change periodically, FYI.
--Juanes (Sigh...except I think we may be distantly related)
--Jay Hernandez (So cute)
--Amaury Nolasco (manly man man man man)
--Freddy Rodriguez (yes, he's short, I loved Six Feet Under. Hey I'm no amazon either)
--George Clooney (obvious)
--And my girl crush Eva Mendes. 90% of the girls here at work have a crush on her. lol.
Okay that's six. I get an extra one for picking a girl.
LMFAO @ cypher's #5!!!!!
and yeah, Jay, tulifruti DESERVES that extra one!! that was [tssssssss!] HOT!!!
which brings me to...
y'all can have wifey on your list. all good. just know that while you're daydreaming, i'm living it, baby.
"...me and Eva, sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g...!"
Dude, I had to google that Iris lady. Don't use your get out of jail free card on that chick. Here's my list.
Paul Patton: She may be the most beautiful girl in the world. I've only said that once before.
Kim Kardashian: She could be the most beautiful girl in the world. That's what I thought when I first saw her.
Nia Long: I'll give her a second kid.
Mel B: I'll give her a second kid too.
Beyonce: She's not even in my top I'd do it and send the flicks to Jay. Leak the sex tape all day.
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