How can you know you're a good son? Ever since my dad suffered a stroke a couple of years ago I've asked myself this question over and over again. The stroke completely transformed my pop from an independent street smart guy to a senior citizen in a wheelchair. He can talk clearly for the most part but he needs help to walk. The first year I was there every day living with my folks; so I washed him, attempted to do his therapeutic exercises (which he hated and lashed out at me) with him and helped him walk from room to room. Today on Labor Day (which he always used to work on) I went to see him. I initially wanted to take him out around the way. Did I? No. The image of his weakened legs giving out and falling crept in my head. Additionally the fake ass peeps who come up to him and say, "I haven't seen you in forever!" He hasn't moved dbag. Idiots!
Even though I didn't take him out I told my wife I did. I lied to make myself feel better as she accurately put it. Even though I do contribute monetarily to my parents, I know money is ish compared to quality time. I feel like another reason I don't take him out often is because I don't want random people to feel pity or gawk at him. He's not the first or the last to suffer a stroke. It sounds like selfish reasons but I guess deep down inside I still see my dad as the rugged man who would knock the taste out of anyone's mouth. I know a lil’ of that man still exists when I kiss him on his forehead and he squeezes my back. But the query still remains, am I a good son? I think I am I just need to put in more effort.
Uno,
Jesus
4 comments:
Good post, homie. I think we all have the same debate for different reasons. While my mom didn't have a stroke, I feel like I don't spend as much time with her as I should living my life. She always says I don't call enough and I rarely visit the house way out in Queens. I love her dearly as I can see you do of your pops, but sometimes we get caught up in our own worlds. But the fact that it is even a thought for you means your relationship with your pops is important to you and as long as that is the case, I believe you will work to do what you have to to no longer question yourself being a good son.
—Ans aka 30 Blogs in 30 Days
I agree that we've all felt guilty about how we treat our parents at one time or another. For me, I watched my dad go from being the street smart, tough guy who towered over me at 6'4" to having cancer put him in a wheelchair. I totally understand where u are coming from. I felt guilty for not helping him enough around the house, except now I don't have a chance to make things right cause he is gone. But you still do. So, all I can say is take advantage of the time you have with him, however you feel comfortable doing so.
Jesus, are you a good son? I believe you are. It is hard for me to accept that papi is in the state his is in. You know that was my buddy, I still cannot look at his eyes without tears forming. All you have to do is be there when mami and papi need you. Never stop visitng them as he lives through you. Never question yourself. Love you always your big sister Meche
The crazy thing is I've never asked myself that question. As the naked man said, pause, I just get too caught in my own world. I live in the clouds, so I forget to check in on them sometimes. Thank God, my parents are in great shape, but they've slowed down. It kinda kills me sometimes to see them reacted slower to certain things. It's like a wake-up call or something. I'm working on being better on my end, though.
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