Kanye West Is The Best Live MC

Let me preface the following post with this tidbit: so far this year I’ve attended a Jay-Z concert and a Nas concert. They both need to step their concert game up. Kanye West, hate him or love him, puts on a great show. I went to his Glow in the Dark tour last night at Madison Square Garden and dude blew, pause, me away. The joint started out with a good set by fellow G.O.O.D. Music MC, Consequence which was followed by Lupe Fiasco.

Sporting an all black ensemble he went through his bangers “Kick, Push,” “Hip-Hop Saved My Life,” and “Go Go Gadget Flow.” Lu is mad animated jumping up and down while his guitarist does his best Eddie Van Halen impersonation and plays his instrument with his teeth. As he brings out Mathew Santos to perform “Streets On Fire,” I notice Farnsworth Bentley next to us with a plain Jane melanin deprived mujer. (Take note: If you want to go from a G to a Gent follow Bent’s example). While Lupe concludes his set with “Superstar” I notice one thing—over half the crowd looks like the Swedish Olympic team. The other half were full of “artists” from Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Next up: N.E.R.D. I’ve never been a huge fan but after their performance I’m intrigued to check their new joint out. With a psychedelic background Pharrell goes through his rock-inspired joints off of Seeing Sounds, along with old songs like “Rock Star,” and “Lapdance.” In one instance Lupe comes back on stage and starts dancing during their set. Towards the end Pha starts grinding with the models on stage. Set done…waiting for Ye.

The Chi MC opens his set with a space theme. His spaceship “Jane” crashes and Ye goes into “Good Morning.” Duke is wearing a cross between Mad Max garb and a medieval knight armor along with his beard, which is thicker, pause, than usual. After performing “Heard’em Say,” Jane says, “Remember this is not your first crash.” Ye blasts into “Through The Wire,” does an incredible chopped and screwed version of “Get’Em High,” “Diamonds from Sierra Leone” while the crowd throws up the Roc. Playing along with his theme, a dinosaur comes out and swallows, pause, Ye. He comes out in a few and goes into “Can’t Tell Me Nothing,” “Flashing Lights,” “Spaceship,” and “All Falls Down.” He turns his attention to Jane and tells her, “I need some p***y.” Which Jane responds, “I can help you out with that.” A cyber image of a King Mag model appears and he performs “Gold Digger.” He wraps up the night with “Jesus Walks” (along with “Jesus Walks” dance), “Hey Mama,” plays a Journey song to play up to his “diverse” crowd, “Stronger and during his encore “Homecoming.” All in all Ye puts on a phenomenal show. He’s taken a page from KRS and dare I say it Hammer to make his stage show one of the best in music period. Jay and Nas got nothing on Ye’s live steez. Nothing.

Uno,

Jesus

De La Soul Will Snuff You

So if “hipster rappers” are so “hipster” why are they getting arrested? Just recently Naledge and Double O were in some deep caca out in Arizona. O got his ass beat by a bunch of bitch ass bodyguards and Naledge got arrested trying to defend his boy or something like that. Whichever the case the label they have as “hipsters” is false. Just because they dress a certain way and real hipsters (ya know the ones that live in Williamsburg and soap is their Kryptonite) love their tunes. It’s a case of that pesky labeling us journalists like to do.

Some of the gulliest MCs have been so-called positive rappers. Go ahead, I dare you to step to any of those De La Soul dudes. They’d lose their “Buddy” demeanor at the drop of a hat. At the end of the day a man is just a man—if provoked he will defend himself. Even Latinos have been victims of labeling by the media and government. “Latino” is better than “Hispanic” but is it really identifying all of us. I don’t think so.

Uno,

Jesus

Joey, Vito, Enzo and Them

I used to go to high school with dudes like in the clip above. I also dated girls like this in high school. Guidos and guidettes are to Italian Americans as spics are to Latinos—an embarrassment. It was a specimen like the one above that called me a spic for the first time in my life during freshman year in high school. I didn’t know what it was exactly but it didn’t feel right. Here’s the scene: I’m sitting below my locker waiting for my next class. Two lames come by and start talking loudly enough for me to hear them. One of them blurts out “spic” but I didn’t pay any attention. Mind you I’m at a predominantly white Catholic high school by way of a scholarship. He continues, “This spic’s mom is probably cleaning my house right now.”

I get up and we start throwing verbal attacks back and forth. I then get my Latrell Sprewell on and start choking dude and he does the same until we get split up. I’ll never forget it. So now guidos don’t bother me as much because well, fortunately, most of them get jobs as DJs for Sweet Sixteens or tanning salons. Everything happens for a reason. Someone was going to use the S-Word one time or another it just so happens I was 14 the first time. When was the first time you were called a racial slur?

Uno,

Jesus

I Used To Love Them

What a difference a ring (and some years) makes? Back when I was 18 I remember loving the summer for one big reason: short shorts. The girls of Sunset Park, BK, aka hoodrats used rock'em throughout the three hot months. They would come in a variety of designs but they all had one thing in common: they were shorter than Bridget the Midget (too much Howard Stern). I would put the sunglasses on and check'em out and at times kick my 18-year-old game to them. It didn't matter if they had ass for days or pancake butt; a short short would make it seem like they had a dope bubble. Also, in these instances a wedgie is the best thing that could happen.

Today it's much different. If I do look at these girls it's in a completely different light. A feeling of sadness—like this is all they aspire to being eye candy for dudes. Mind you some of the girls that I checked for back in the day are still busting out their shorts in June. Only now they're mothers and not the milfy kind. I saw this 14-year-old yesterday rocking shorts so tight it made her legs red with grown ass men hollering. She reveled in the attention. Now I know I might get some slack from some of y’all. But there’s a time and place for any type of garb. In the bedroom, for a King Magazine shoot (I see you Sean) or if you’re a Brazilian supermodel. But imagine your girl walking around in some tight short shorts getting hit on by lames. Not a good look. Having nieces and especially wife now all I could do is a feel sorry for her. The only way she thinks a woman can be sexy is by showing off the goods. Cue “Sally’s Got A One Track Mind.”

Uno,

Jesus

Ride With Me

Last week the J-O had a launch party for their new show Model Latina. Needless to say some peeps got f-ed up with the open bar. One person was the wife. She eventually hurled chunks and that was that. But an even more surprising event occurred that night. Check it: it's me, Teji, Yaneth, Dee and her inebriated sis. While she usually does the driving I was up to the plate. I’ve never driven from Manhattan to any of the boroughs . . . until now.

We parked in a tight, pause, spot so I told Teji, the only other sober one, “Yo can you pull out?” Pause. She got Queensbridge on me and said, “Nah, yo. Man up. You can do it." I shriveled, pause, up a bit; she should have finished the job and bitch slap and given me an atomic wedgie. Aight. I managed to pull out, pause, with her help. Started driving and I was doing well. Until Drunkie McGee starts, "I'm so proud of you. You've never driven from the city." Blah, blah. I made it to the Q in one piece and I got the driving bug now. Let me ride (word to Dre)!

Uno,

Jesus

Guess What? Joell Ortiz Really Likes Rap Music

Joell Ortiz. I’ve been an avid supporter of duke for many reasons. Mainly three: he’s an ill MC who happens to be Latino from Brooklyn, NY. It doesn’t get better than that. He recently posted the new LL video (“Baby”) on his site and had a lil’ story to tell. He actually makes a cameo in it and was genuinely appreciative to LL for making it happen. Which leads me to point: we as music journalists sometimes hate on MCs for being fans of each other…a Stan as it may. But shoot at one time or another you were probably an LL fan too.

I know hearing The Game namedrop N.W.A. for the millionth time can be annoying but the brother is genuinely a die-hard fan. Who else would tattoo a group’s name on their body without them being part of said group? So when I see Joell act like a regular person would it makes me like, pause, him more. I really hope he gets more shine so more MCs can become J.O. fan.

Uno,

Jesus

Conventions With Fulvio (Pause)

Aside from promoting the J-O at UNITY (the largest journalist conference in the U.S.) I also got a chance to chill with one of my good peeps from outside the Big Apple—Fulvio . The homie works for one of the big newspapers on the East coast and is always down to crack a joke or 20. He came, pause, in using “no homo” but by the end he was using “pause” for everything. (That’s right Carl, we’re infecting, pause, everyone). We hit up the job conference to network. First we stopped at a university booth. Sporting our dorky nametags the college rep tells Fulvio, “Oh you’re from the Korant!” SMH. Oh, I forgot to mention duke is not only from a university but a “School of Journalism and Mass Communication.” SMH. Fulvio corrects him and we proceed to crack jokes.

On to the NAHJ banquet where they honored my former college prof Juan Gonzalez. We stayed in the back because as expected we were going to act like junior high schoolers. In our defense the banquet was handled horribly. The invite read from 7PM to 10PM but it ran until almost midnight. Even by CPT standards that’s unacceptable. If felt like The Source was running this banquet not NAHJ; plus by the end of it I wanted to stab someone. They honor the first person around 7PM then there was an hour-long gap. When they begin to honor the rest it feels like I’m in a boring history class in eighth grade. In between some dude comes to our table; a friend of a friend. The guy speaks exactly like Christian Bale in American Psycho and he seems to be as much as a sellout as Bale was in it. By the time Juan Gone is honored more than half the attendees have left. I was laughing my ass off because it was the only way I could stop from crying. I got love, pause, for Juan Gone pero coño.

Uno,

Jesus